LIGHT BULB!

A few hours later and I'm the smartest person I know. Eyes to the front, boys and girls, while I regail you with my tale of genius.

I left a bit ago to turn off my dvd and to answer a phone call from my cousin. I am blessed with having amazing relatives that actually like me and want to hang out. She convinced me that it is futile to sit sedentary and be swallowed up by my giant Pier 1 Imports Papasan Chair when there are fun times afoot. I decided to meet her half way at least and shower.

During my shower I decided to step outside the box and, instead of using the shampoo that my mother and I share, I chose my dad's shampoo. It is some Suave something or other with coconuts on the front. To my astonishment and amazement, it actually smells EXACTLY like Banana Penicillin.

Did I mention I'm death-bed sick? Phlegm and all the other nasty assortment of ewwies? Did I also mention that I have had roughly 9,000,000 ear infections in my youth and would only ever get Banana Penicillin and beg my mother to let me have more than my prescribed tablespoon?

I LOVE BANANA PENICILLIN! I love it so much, I washed my hair with the copy-cat-scent-shampoo just to help myself feel better. Upon discovering this, I also decided to do my "Full Body Cleanse". It's like when you go to the car wash and decide to get the "Deluxe Wash". I clean every part of my body consciously. The crook of my elbows and inbetween my toes and all the things you miss out on when you're just doing the important bits like the mirrors and the hood. It makes me feel like I'm scrubbing my brain from the outside in and it always makes me feel better. However, my delightful suds-up was RUINED when I caught a whiff (through the pinhole airway in my clogged nasal passages) of GARLIC!

CURSE YOU GARLIC SUIT! Even when the uniform is in the wash and I've scrubbed my hands, you insist on adhering yourself to me! Well not today. No sir, I refuse to wear you all day. I am reclaiming my independence from odourous-mascotry.

(Here is the stroke of genius...I bet you thought I forgot about it)

I washed my fingernails with toothpaste.

TADA!!!! Garlic is GONE. Toothpaste is designed to combat the horridness that is offensive food smells and it is formulated for the body! It can't possibly harm me, except make my hang nails sting. But other than that. Presto Chango. The smell is gone and I feel remarkable.

I felt so good in fact, that I just HAD to blog about it, and now my hair has dried funny.

-J.-